Solo trip ; Hanoi

Going on a solo trip ; a first amateur one Not knowing where to go , no guide to lead , no books to read , limited map in hand, and of course , no one to discuss with. Quite an eye opening experience considering the things you need to do to make things work when you have only a pair of hands.  Awkward moments set in at times , joyous period dips in at moments.  Day 1  Reached the airport and through the customs alone is a bit of a scary part . Probably the movies has got into me to think that they are just gonna stop you and check on you. sweaty palms did not help to ease the situation  Decided to save some money , experience something. Wanna take the shuttle bus and then get to the hotel from there. Walked around a bit , to and fro looking out where to board the bus. Almost gave up when there are so many taxis & motorbikes coming up to offer a ride straight to the comfortable beds. Luckily finally found my way to the station , sweat some , and did manage to get on the right bus ( number 7)  after all. Rain was pouring. Wanted to save some more money , braved myself and met up with Miriam and Jesus from Spain , car pool to reach my hotel. 35,000 dong and 30,000 for the taxi; thats a far reach of 15usd for the same distance . Yay !!!  Got to the hotel checked in , arranged a cruise , swapped the pricey one for the cheaper one ; fingers crossed. After all, I'm going alone , not any honeymoon!  Get settled and started waking around the town blindly , empty stomached , reached the water puppet theatre somehow , and bought the tickets for 3.30pm when it was 2.15 pm. Less than an hour to rush to get something to eat , otherwise the audience will be listening to my stomach drumming instead !  Walked and walked , looking for the famous tangerine cafe-failed. Gosh  Got myself a sugary desert drink and off I ran to the theatre. Amazing performance , but I guess fatigue has got on me. An hour of show done , guess its time for brunch + dinner . Walked further , looking around , got something to eat finally at the orchid restaurant. The fried rice noodle was not bad. A sip of Hanoi beer to compliment the meal. Full and tired , got lost , again to the hotel. That's when I feel desperado as there's no one but myself knows where do I stay. Somehow made it . Hot shower it is.  Next up , the night market ! I never could resist one. Walked and had some candy , got my teeth sticky.  Time for some snacks I suppose , thus stopped at a desert stall , again . Can't resist one ever in the hot weather! a nice coincidence to bump into a Singaporean  , chatted a little , talked bout people and politics . And we moved on separate ways . I walked on , as blindly as I am , bck to the hotel. Time to hit the bed , rising early tomorrow for the bay !  Day 2  Woke up early for breakfast. Food a must !  Got myself 2 slices of bread , watermelon juices , some tarts& the waiter handed me the menu. So I thought , why pay when I can get food included in my stay ! Finished them all and the waiter came to take my order. Out of politeness , I asked how much are they , he said , " it's included already in what you paid" so , I went on and ordered a chicken noodle soup. Feeling a bit dry down the throat , got up and got myself some fruits and juice  " sir, you might want to leave some space for the noodle" lol. He doesn't know me yet I suppose .  Got on board , headed to halong bay Awkward silences on the dining table , strangers to each other plus I'm the "single guy" on board There were Australians ( too many of them) , a Dutch couple and a family from indonesia Then programs after programs  Kayak and mount climbing was great as expected ; but the last minute dip in the sea was the best ever The weirdest moment is always whenever I've no one to talk to, to take pictures with  I decided I shouldn't take any more trips like this alone  Day 3  Woke up at 5.15, was almost bright Damn !im gonna miss the sunrise Rushed to brush my teeth , washed my face and run up on the deck . Phew ! Made it . Sun rising , breathtakingly beautiful. Apparently I'm the only one there . Guess everyone is still sleeping. No regrets on waking up early for that. Then it's tai chi and food. Tai chi isn't as easy as it seems . Could do it sometimes later; was fun . Cave exploring didn't appeal to me much but went On anyway  Then it's time to head back to Hanoi , felt like its the whole day already . Tired !  Time to sleep!  Decided to be not so ambitious this time , asked the lady at the hotel what's and where's good for Vietnamese food nearby. Don't think I could afford to get lost again. Found my way to a restaurant ordered a salad and claypot fish . Finished my salad but the fish was yet to come thus asked the waitress only to figure that  I only ordered one dish. Stomach growling , got myself a plate of fried noodles instead. The whole meal was not bad after all Ended the day by stopping by at grocery shop and bought some moon cakes only to realize there were better shops ( exteriorly) I hope they're the same and doesn't taste bad. Fingers crossed Day 4 Paid usd 18 and got a van with an upright seat , and limited space for the legs , I'm pretty pissed off  And for this reason , I'm not gonna recommend this hotel to anyone. If they had gone to details to serving you welcome drinks etc, the whole lack of sensitivity and pretty much a scam to me just destroyed all the good impression. I could have just flag a private car and gave myself a comfortable with only usd15. I thought they would've done better , apparently not Arrived at the airport , with the stiff neck and back in addition to the cramping legs doesn't feel good at all. To add a pinch of salt to the wound , I just lost my belt as I was passing through the customs. Only noticed the belt was not there after I went to the toilet and recalled having taken it off. Went back to look for it but it wasn't there. It's just sad  It's all  negative points for today apparently 

Thursday, September 20, 2012

When death comes upon you

At twenties , you don't think about death. At thirties , you chase for career and finance achievements , you don't think of deaths.

Ponder , ponder .

A recent case that I admitted two days ago, just before chinese new year.
A 19 year old , just completed his pre-u, waiting for Uni entrance , bright future in front of him. A handsome tall and young gentleman; what could go wrong. ?

He accidentally drank a gulp of paraquat left over in a mineral water bottle when he was helping out in a garden. Everything looks doomed 3 post consumption , his kidneys are failing on him; a matter of time before other system ensues.

What would I do if im in that position ? I'd be stuck , clueless n hopeless. I would've regret things I didn't do. I would hope for another day to live on.
Now I do have the chance to make good use of time. I need to do things ,I shall not waste the opportunities that lie before me. I wish to live with no regrets , love and be loved .

Dear young man , I pray that you'd come through this, be how hard it is gonna be for you.
To those who ever have thoughts of taking their own lives, please don't . A lot others are struggling to keep theirs.

Monday, January 23, 2012

year 2012

every turning point, every change takes time for adaptation because it reminds you that time has flew. Things have evolved. People has moved on.Things have shifted.

This scares me to a point when i realize i am static when everyone is moving forward
and i am where i was, stuck; practically.
not something proud to say,


academic wise,
career wise,
financial wise,
property wise,
love wise ,
I am stuck.

I woke up to the scary fact that beholds me.
that wakes me up.
I sighed
i regretted
i pondered.

call me reluctant
call me ignorant.
I seriously haven't made up my mind on how to live my life.
it aches the heart when you live aimlessly, but seriously, I couldn't make up the decision.

I looked back at my new year resolution for 2011,
1. be wiser, be more brave in making decisions. I don't wanna be the"whatever" guy anymore.
2. to complete this HO ship and decide what i want to do next.
3. to get a diving license
4. to do more volunteer works.
5. be able to control my tamper
6. be love back people who loves me

i only managed to cross number 3.
i need to cross the others...

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

when your intentions are being doubted

today could easily be recorded as one of the saddest moment of my life
my inferiority in knowledge has caused me humiliation.
Being said that i do not have a heart for the patient that i was treating was too much. The fact that he has to throw it to my face that my acts could have caused the patient's life made it even sore.

I could break down at that moment. I felt my heart being sliced releasing tears pumped inside. I couldn't hold it up any longer when he asked me" are you about to cry"
I said "no"
" i am sick" was my reply. which was pretty much the fact.

this made me doubt , why have i sacrificed my seeping time , my rest, the fatigue, the effort and the sore throat and flu that comes together in this combo package; when my intentions are being doubted.

Doubt my intelligence. Blame my stupidity. Blame my careless.
But do not doubt my sincerity.

It hurts.
It is so painful.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

the journey

just finished watching a movie, a mandarin movie without subtitles & falling in love with it. A tough one.

Taipei Exchange

been quite some time since a movie able to struck me and as able to flow with my thoughts. I'm not gonna tell or narrate bout this story cos i felt this movie brings people who dreams and plans through a journey, that it should worth exploring by himself/herself. Thus, should experience it..

It makes me think (again) of dreams and choices.
what should be done
what was wished to be done
now i feel like wanna go to taipei

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

knock knock

so i have been reminded by a friend that i have been left out on dropping some points in this blog for quite sometime.

i was asked on how have i "celebrated " my birthday. It did rang a bell that i have written bout the third of March the year before; why not this year?

it was followed by my opinion on birthdays. Honestly, i haven't really thought about that till that question was sprung to me.

"Erm, could be said so. Birthday,to me, not to say it is something huge yet not pointless. Just felt that it is the day remind someone that he/she is of a significance to himself and probably others who are important to him. It's like a shout out "hello, I'm here"

Those were my response.

it traits a string questions to myself of what am I doing here- here , as in this place, this time.
People have always said -Live the moment
and yes, people have also said- plan your future.
Believe me, it sounded as crazy and as stupid as I am, these two contradicting questions haven't made my lousy life any easier.

My new year resolutions were the part of "plan your future"
My wish of going into diving, wanna go for LASIK ( no shame, am I? LOL) were the part of me who wants to "live the moment'
dilemma dilemma dilemma.
you consider money and time, people and place, this and that, blah blah blah.
in the end, i never come into a conclusion; that's probably why im a screwed up single man in his mid twenties reaching 30s 4 year down the road with no career nor property enhancements. then, i'd say to myself, hey, live the moment! yes, its a cycle again for me; chasing my own tail- a dumb ass.

i may sound as lame it is; the recent natural disasters do knock my head a little; but NOT enough to help me choose the way i wanna live my life.
as the old wise poem says:" two roads diverge in a yellow road"
yet, i haven;t picked mine. i don't know when im gonna pick one.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

new year resolutions

i never make new year resolutions, cos i do not trust in making them..well i used to.
decided to make some this year. i've been aimless for too long, need something ahead to remind me what i need to do

so here i go:
1. be wiser, be more brave in making decisions. I don't wanna be the"whatever" guy anymore.
2. to complete this HO ship and decide what i want to do next.
3. to get a diving license
4. to do more volunteer works.
5. be able to control my tamper
6. be love back people who loves me

crossing fingers!

Sunday, January 2, 2011