When death comes upon you

At twenties , you don't think about death. At thirties , you chase for career and finance achievements , you don't think of deaths.

Ponder , ponder .

A recent case that I admitted two days ago, just before chinese new year.
A 19 year old , just completed his pre-u, waiting for Uni entrance , bright future in front of him. A handsome tall and young gentleman; what could go wrong. ?

He accidentally drank a gulp of paraquat left over in a mineral water bottle when he was helping out in a garden. Everything looks doomed afterwards.day 3 post consumption , his kidneys are failing on him; a matter of time before other system ensues.

What would I do if im in that position ? I'd be stuck , clueless n hopeless. I would've regret things I didn't do. I would hope for another day to live on.
Now I do have the chance to make good use of time. I need to do things ,I shall not waste the opportunities that lie before me. I wish to live with no regrets , love and be loved .

Dear young man , I pray that you'd come through this, be how hard it is gonna be for you.
To those who ever have thoughts of taking their own lives, please don't . A lot others are struggling to keep theirs.

Monday, January 23, 2012

year 2012

every turning point, every change takes time for adaptation because it reminds you that time has flew. Things have evolved. People has moved on.Things have shifted.

This scares me to a point when i realize i am static when everyone is moving forward
and i am where i was, stuck; practically.
not something proud to say,


academic wise,
career wise,
financial wise,
property wise,
love wise ,
I am stuck.

I woke up to the scary fact that beholds me.
that wakes me up.
I sighed
i regretted
i pondered.

call me reluctant
call me ignorant.
I seriously haven't made up my mind on how to live my life.
it aches the heart when you live aimlessly, but seriously, I couldn't make up the decision.

I looked back at my new year resolution for 2011,
1. be wiser, be more brave in making decisions. I don't wanna be the"whatever" guy anymore.
2. to complete this HO ship and decide what i want to do next.
3. to get a diving license
4. to do more volunteer works.
5. be able to control my tamper
6. be love back people who loves me

i only managed to cross number 3.
i need to cross the others...

Wednesday, January 4, 2012