when your intentions are being doubted

today could easily be recorded as one of the saddest moment of my life
my inferiority in knowledge has caused me humiliation.
Being said that i do not have a heart for the patient that i was treating was too much. The fact that he has to throw it to my face that my acts could have caused the patient's life made it even sore.

I could break down at that moment. I felt my heart being sliced releasing tears pumped inside. I couldn't hold it up any longer when he asked me" are you about to cry"
I said "no"
" i am sick" was my reply. which was pretty much the fact.

this made me doubt , why have i sacrificed my seeping time , my rest, the fatigue, the effort and the sore throat and flu that comes together in this combo package; when my intentions are being doubted.

Doubt my intelligence. Blame my stupidity. Blame my careless.
But do not doubt my sincerity.

It hurts.
It is so painful.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011