It was over, yet, there's still something to talk about it.So, I passed the exam; calling an end this chapter of 5 years; with another new journey awaits me.
To me,at that period of time ; including during the study week, the emotional drain was unbearable. The thoughts and fear of not performing well that will put the 5 years on bet , with everything at stake for that exam, made it so much tougher.
First on my list, I told myself, if I made it through, I need to thank one lady: my MUM. Honestly, she has been there all the time for me; praying for me to be calm,relieving my worries and comforting me all the time. She was pretty much my pillar of strength; especially during that time. THANK YOU
Not forgetting, the friends who helped me through this. My study group members and some other fellas helped me revise the stuff that i didn't know, practiced short cases with me etc etc.Otherwise, I'd still be struggling with a lot of things! There's so much they have done for me I just couldn't mention them all. The moral support from all the others were as equally important and vital. My hometown gang, and the others, like ah kiat who wished me luck, I wanna thank you all!
And of course, the lecturers who have been guiding me all these while. There 's so much you have done and taught me to become a good human and a good Doctor. I hope I will not be a disappointment.
so, may all of you have great days ahead.Take care!!!
Passed by a funeral on my way home; a lady was crying badly.
In the hospital, every day, there would be people at the brim of death.
Outside the hospital, no one knows when his clock stops ticking.
Being in medical school, I’ve witnessed deaths. These 2 were vividly clear in mind:
1. In Klang GH, a 22 year old then, a newbie to clinical settings and all. I was with my colleagues looking at a patient when some people ran in, crying, towards the bed across. Dumbstruck.
2. In UMMC, last year, was following the medical team doing the morning rounds. Patient was on ventilator support, just like many other patients. All of a sudden she collapsed; resuscitation failed.
Her daughter was just outside. She cried while talking on the phone, “I was with her just a minute ago, but I did not have a chance to just say good bye to her”
Each one person is a beloved of many others.
However, we are not the ones to decide who lives, who don’t.
At that moment, when I passed by the funeral, it strikes me.
I questioned myself, whether am I competent enough; competent enough to keep that one person alongside his many others, and to keep that one man to himself.
I just hope that I can be one who can help, be a benefit the society.
It strikes me, because I know that my knowledge is too shallow…
Saturday, April 4, 2009
It felt so great to be finally home.
For once, I was not bringing along any notes; to just end up being heaved with a full sense of guilt on Sundays, for flipping only one page the most.
For once, I could lie down peacefully to read a book other than textbooks with a peaceful mind; need not to be haunted the thoughts echoing in my mind
“There’s so much you need to read, yet you’re reading this?”
“There are these chapters I haven’t read up; I have to put this book down”
I could savor the luxury of doing what I want to do instead of what I need to do for the next 3 days before reality sets in (again).
Now, I can only hope. Hoping that I will pass the exam.
p/s : I wrote this yesterday, just do not have the internet connection to post it up.
When was the last time that you looked up the sky?
(I mean totally extending your neck so that your face is parallel to the sky; or lying down, facing up.)
When I was a kid, whenever there's a plane flew by, we( my bros and I)would look up into the sky and started jumping away; waving our hands, telling the people on the plane " we're here!"
The naivety of us was what made us so carefree and able to make a total fool out of ourselves yet still be the totally cheerful fellas.
Ten years down the line, probably when I was bout 18 or so, a bunch of us good friends would lie down on newspapers on top of the wet grasses of the field, looking at the stars and talk.
We spent time thinking and analyzing. We looked at the choices and made our decisions. The sky was there, so were the stars. They witnessed us grow and we observed their beauty.
Reaching 20 plus, another ten years; I couldn't remember clearly when was the last time I took time to look up the sky until when I was floating in the pool 2 weeks ago.The duties and burdens building on the shoulder day by day has blurred my vision on the more beautiful things in the world.
Neither the sky nor the stars has changed ;it's the way we look at things that has took a turn;or maybe not looking at it.