it was about 0745 when mum called.
I could hear her voice stutter when she broke the news to me. She could not hold it any longer and she cried. BB has left , she died in her sleep on the big pillow she loved last night. I did not have the chance to send her off , but mum said she looked peaceful, that she and dad only realized she was gone when they wanted to transfer BB to her cage. She was buried last night. 22/02/2009

I could still recall the day she was born in our house, we were arguing whether would she turn into black colour like her mum. That little puppy,with its brownish fur was later found out to be a rarity of its kind (mini pinscher)by having that hue and people had wanted to buy her. Of course, we did not give in. I was given the honour to name her , and i so i did. I "named" her BB ; cos i was so lazy to think of any, that i suggested to everyone in the house to call her BB ( just like how anyone would call a newborn before they know the name) while i try to come out with one which i eventually did not. eventually, everyone started to become fond of calling her that name that no new name will be of significance.

To watch her grow (not really in the matter of size), was one of the most marvellous thing that has happened in our family. To us, she is more like a family member rather than a dog. She brought love and she caused hate.

Love ;in the sense that she made all of us laughed when she furiously ran after the "strangers" that stepped into our house. Hate; in the sense that the "strangers" hated her cos they dare not put down their legs on the floor whenever they come to my house.

Love ;in the sense, she gave us the chance to pamper her and provide us warmth when she cuddle between our arms when we took our naps or watch the tv. Hate, in the sense that she would lie on my dad's lap whenever my mum called her to bathe, or when she saw mum getting ready with the shampoo. (BB was toilet trained to pee and pass motion in the bathroom by my mum,and pretty much trained her in many ways with strict discipline whereas dad is the one who "spoiled" her by giving her food that mum forbid. Thus, she has a "dislike" to my mum)After all the drama, mum and dad would always sit down, while drying BB, and debate that BB was a spoilt brat or an obedient kid.

My youngest bro named her "Chili" and mum said she's more of like a bird's eye pepper ( aka "cili padi" ) as she lived up to the name by being the loudest whenever anyone other than 6 members of the Neoh family stepped into the house ; despite being the tiniest of all. Anyone who has seen her would've known how would she welcome the guests to our house.

She shared so many and brought too much joy to me and my family i could not put them into words.

Seeing her leaping up and down and wanting to be hugged whenever i come home was one of the thing i missed most since BB developed epilepsy last year Mum was so concerned that she could not sleep well the first few nights, fearing that BB will have seizures in the middle of her sleep. She woke in mid of her sleep to look at her, to ensure that she did not have any attack. if she did, she'll hold her up in her arms, so that she won't hurt herself during the fit. She was brought to a vet, and ever since, giving her medications ( anti epileptics)had subconsciously became mum's duty whereas feeding her food bit by bit became dad's.

It was during the chinese new year that we had the opportunity to spend more time at home, as well as staying up late at night. And that was when I noticed how far BB has deteriorated. From being the smartest and fiercest one ; she has became the one who can't see or balance well.From being able to leap up the sofa to land on our laps, she could not even make her way to the sofa.

There were a few nights that she often cried, I held her up, fed her some bread and pat her to sleep. That was the only thing i was capable of doing.Now I don't have the chance to hold her , feel her and see her. When she was admitted to the ward/clinic last time for epilepsy, we missed her so much that we made a few travels to Ipoh to find her (she was being treated there). And we knew she missed us as well; so much that she'll bark non stop when we had to put her back into the cage in the clinic.

This time will be the same. We'll all still miss you.
The only difference is that this time around we need not travel to find you or touch you,
cos this time we realized that you have found the way in our hearts
and you have touched us by cuddling in the warmth of our memories of you.

Farewell BB, I wish you a peaceful afterlife and may you be lifted off your sufferings.

Sunday, February 22, 2009